Today I just couldn’t let go of my day. Changing gears was alluding me. I had rushed out of work, picked up my boys (late), and raced home. We had activities to get to, dinner to prepare, homework, chores to get done…
My boys needed attention, and I didn’t have it. What I had was the adrenaline from my day and a patient stuck in my head that I couldn’t let go of. I was irritable with my boys and I knew it. I needed to shake off the feelings and be present to them.
I tried blasting music from my iPod, texting with a friend, preparing dinner….nada. I was preoccupied, lacking in patience, craving quiet, on edge, and yes, prone to tears. I finally had to stop and think….this isn’t working. What do I need? How do I let go and bring myself home where I needed to be?
My behaviour reminded me of my boys at times when they come home from a full day and are just as irritable. They have trouble changing gears. They are wound up, out of sorts, on edge… What works for them? How do I bring them back to the present, switch gears, connect back to the family.
I have a little ritual I do with them. I say to one of them, “Hmmm…I think you forgot something today…” And I tap my index finger on my lips. They immediately come over for a kiss and I wrap my arms around them and just hold them awhile. Works every time.
With that came the realization that it is exactly what I need as well. At the end of the day instead of rushing to the hockey rink or the piano or to the myriad of other things that need to be “done”, to pause for a moment, wrap my arms around those I love and sink into the change.
So I went to each of my sons and one at a time placed my hands on their face, told them that I missed them today and kissed their little upturned faces…..and got a hug..times three.
And the gears started shifting….